you dont know

“我好想，能停在你身边，
我的想念，何时你才能发现，
你不知道，我的难熬，
爱情在我们中迟到，爱的暗号你没有收到，
我要怎么办才好。
我不知道，有天你能否只对我好。

可不可以靠近一点，记住这张爱你的脸。”

sometimes,i think answer havent come out yet,
so,everything still have chance to change.

when i become an outsider,
to think about what actually happened,
i always totally feel heartache.
my heart gave me the answer,but i just still dont want to believe.

not no answer,just i dont want to believe.

as what i thought before,
such kind sweet nice gentle guy, shouldnt belong to me.
i just prove it.
nothing change.
please dont tell me i am a good girl.
as i know i am not.

i have to agree that, relationship is not a part of my life,
i have to agree that, i am still not good enough to be loved.
i have to agree that, i need to,have to adapt to lonely life.
i have to agree that, GOD forgot to give me a MR.Right. Maybe he thought i need to be strong


可是你对谁都好，你只对我不好。
thats explain everything.
对不起，AGAIN。AND AGAIN。
前一阵子麻烦你了。
虽然不想理我，可是你又不得不理我。
前一阵子打扰你了。
号码删除掉强制的让我不能联络到你。

I am too tired
每次想到你时的心痛，我明白了。
很痛很痛之后，我终于明白了。
其实，奇迹根本不会发生。
我。还是。配不上你。
连资格都没有。
为什么只有我不可以呢？
i asked this question to myself ,to my Lord.
but no answer.
爱情不属于我。
也许这就是答案。

可能那些让人幸福到落泪的故事并不适合我。
可能那些让人羡慕的爱情也不适合我。
总之，发生在这个世界上的，所有的美好的爱情，都不属于我。
it is a punishment.
it have lasted five years already.
it will continue till the day of death.

不是我要GIVE UP。
是我必须要认命了。
会有人对自己喜欢的人不理不睬么？
会有人对自己关心的人置之不理么？
会有人不愿意见到对自己重要的人么。
不会。当然不会。

所以。其实答案早就有了。
actually.
i sent the same msg to two ppl.
but, another one just replied me"okie"(but still cant as he signed one already)
you, ignored as usual

thats an obviously difference.
i can understand thats a not easy decision.
but, you dont believe me.
you definely dont believe me.
you worried if i let you in trouble?

to be a friend, trust is the most basic element.
so.you even didnt treat me as your friend.

then i suddenly realised.
i am just a passager .
i dont want to say anymore.
but, it is too funny to know 原来，我是那么的不被重视。
it is really a moment to know who is my friends.
我没有故意要这么做，无意之中的对比，我终于知道，把我当做朋友的人是谁。
YOU DONT KNOW。
我早知道，这就是结局。只是我期待过奇迹。
right now,
is the last time,i am crying for you and me.
i am crying for everything every moment, every message,every call,every sentence about you .
我发誓，这是我最后一次，为了男生哭。
这是我最后一次，脆弱的想要依靠你，想要告诉你，无论你做什么，我都可以理解你。
我不会怪你。
这是我最后一次，最后一次的脆弱。最后一次为你掉的眼泪。
最后一次为了这场可笑的感情而伤心。

我不会再相信命中注定的爱情了。
我不会再相信真的爱就一定可以得到回报。
我不会再相信等待可以换来幸福。
关于爱情的一切，我绝望。
你不知道么。
我对你的心有多真么？
就凭这一点，你就完全可以相信，我就算是伤害自己，也不会让你陷入困难里。