心情日记6

Seriously,when i was at Marketing Tutorial.
i put all my thoughts follow my tutor,
i understand what he said,there was no communicate problem.
but,my mind was messy and totally couldnt caught why he explained same thing in different meanings. the meaning is unique,how come there was some many meanings?

blur blur blur....
i dont have the sense of marketing.maybe.
hospitality and tourism industry have some many DIFFERENT things.
i cant use common human sense to think about it.

i DONT like tourism industry as well as FB,Hotel......etc etc.
and i also wonder what is the standard for ppl who apply our school.
teamwork?kind?interesting?bright future?knowledgable?
what the hell!!!!!
These all should be JOKE!!!!
selfish,messy private life.greeting,unfair.....
too complex envoriment to take a breath.

i regret to choose here.why not to apply sp again?
why not try to SMU?
why?why?why?
i asked myself.why dont listen auntie's word to choose engineer ?
then i dont need struggle to get high GPA.it is easy to get A.
stupid.too stupid!!!!

and then, i was disappointed with the boy.
whats wrong with this?
i totally cant accept what u have done.
i finally ensure that,
who i can believe, just myself.
who can help me,just GOD and myself.
people always like just stand around,say something that they are care about you,but they didnt.
fake.
the real care,is not only stand around,but give me a hand,dont need do anything,but just transfer the warm temperature to my cold hand.
i dont need you said 'i believe you',but just look at me,eyes can tell me everything.

wordings are not the proper way .
action is the proper and directly way to know how was you thinking.

YOU ARE FURTHER AND FURTHER.
the unvisible wall too hard to break.
i used a whole heart to break it,
but till my heart was completely separated.
the wall still hard.

you are such boy.
i understood .

and ,friend.
i was angry with your msg too.
why you even thought this is not seriously situation?
can you totally understand what was i facing????
can you totally understand how much responsbility add to me?
if you cant,at least,can you just keep silence???
do you know your"hahaha" really really hurt me????
did i say like this when you are suffering?????
did i laugh when the moment you were disappointed??

i finally know.i am lonely to fight with life.
friends?
they are too far to fight with me.
but i am sure they should be with me .
boyfriend?
yes i want,but i want the man,not boy.
i want the one who can protect me.who can understand me.
NOT THE ONE,WHO JUST IGNORE,JUST IGNORE!!!!!!!

ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EXACTLY ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am too tired to live.
i want to go home.
i want to go home.
i dont want to stay in SINGAPORE even for ONE mins.
i dont want to do what stupid project.
i dont want to learn such stupid marketing.ob.lodge.whatever.all subject!!!!
i dont want to go to school.
i dont want to every day in died sunning!!!
i dont want to find a internship company like a slave!!!!!!!

i even dont need to find company in beijing,daddy,auntie,anyone can give me a position.
i even dont need to study so hard for the GPA,i can get top grade.
whats going on.
..............
give up?
sounds bad.
but ,do you know the meaning of give up
how much courage need?

unfair life.
i am not bamboo.
i am just a girl.
why?why it is too difficult to find happiness?even i look around thousands of times.
i still cant realise where is my happiness.