confused

i missed a tutorial again.
i think i am in unusual mode.
i think there was something wrong in my life.

i confused.
i cant sleep.
i cant wake up
i can lose weight.

everything is opposite of what i want.

what happened to me?
what's wrong with me?

hey, how are you today?

"hey ,how are u today?"
it's simple, but yet, it's difficult.

i asked myself, why not just say it?
i cant explain the reason ....

anyway, today its the most worst day.
i didnt plan to sleep, and i didnt sleep until 5am.
but , i just close my eyes for a while, then it was 10 am already.
i was CRAZY!!!
because, i have to submit my individual works before 930am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway.
i dont wanna say anymore now.

and, my absent for tutorial is two classes uplate by today.

yeah. the first of term 2 starts with two upset points...

i actually expected it would be wonderful beginning...
haha...

my friends all dont know how to say...just shock their heads..
and...
"早上没睡醒的人，要不就锁自己的那位。。。”
i am so sorry to my OB tutor. ...as two things happened when it was his lesson...

i felt too tired to think too much.
thats great.
because i was tired,so i don wanna thinking about others except school..
haha...

but, i pray that tmr, i can wake up super early...

OXYGEN

oxygen...yeah.i need oxygen to live.

today i woke up at 3pm.
i had slept for almost 14hrs...
but i still felt tired...super tired....seems like i did a lot of things in the time i slept.

ya,i also remembered that i did a lot of things.but i dun know what i did....

then after that,my phone was no power,even yesterday it was full...
so guai.

then charged,read msg.washed clothes.

i cant feel my heart existed.
i felt i almost died.

i want to die ,this feeling hasnt appeared in 5yrs .
but today,it came back.
i send sos msg to that one.
but as i think no reply...yeah.he never know.

the darkness filled my whole body.
like death human.

what i felt,just cold.

three months.
i have been in this complicate feeling for three months.
i was too tired.
i exceed what i can handle.

everyone said.he was not worthy.

i thought maybe everything would be same as 5yrs ago
but later,
when i met dorain.
i knew.
this time.things different.

my friends are all here with me.
they care me.
they are worried about me.

"are you sure you are ok?"they even knew i was not happy through my voice.

yeah.thats the spirit of willingness.

nowaday, friends like oxygen.
they are here.no matter i can see or not.

i am unhappy.thats causes their worries.
thanks god .

ok.nvm.
just try to forget.
maybe better wait my beloved DJ.

oxygen .
you took my heart.but oxygen is still here.
my life,now,is not only myself.is belonging to ppl who love me.

really pinky-life!!!

the life is changed.when i realised it happened.
and it lasts for a few days already.

thanks moulmein church gave me the place to learn GOD's word from most basic part.
thanks city harvest gave me chance to back to learn GOD's more.
thanks w238 gave me so much more happy moment,
thanks VT subzone, i knew a lot of ppl in this family-like subzone.

thanks mr.love,anyway, i am still crazy missing you,still love you.
still thinking about you.
but, I can love you, is the most valuable thing happen in my life.
yeah.i may try to move on,but its really hard,but at least,i know what is the meaning of love.

thanks babies rhoda connie yipbei liyun yvon .... a lot of girls who always be my side.

thanks veron, i like what you teach for us.

thanks pastor kang, i really love your word!!!

anyway.most importantly,thanks glenda brought me there.
otherwise,how can i meet all of those ppl?

yeah.i am still in struggle.
i am still upset for a lot of other things.
but. i know my pinky-life is here right now!!

yes,
in the future,
i may be heartache because my love one finally in the relationship.
i maybe disappointed about all the things happened around me.
but.
let me enjoy now.
let me alive now.
and .let me reply YOUR call by my real behaviour!!!!!

war for love

can i believe true love can beat anything?
can i believe you treat relationship seriously?
should i continue to wait?

or,should i quit this war?

why u got so many things...
why u never show ur opinions?
why why why????

ok.no matter how, winner will be decided by u.
before that.what should i do just to improve myself.