running,thinking

i ran for 70mins today,about 6.5km.
i didnt want to stop,just kept running.
i stopped when i felt a little bit hard to breath.
was it my limited?
my heart beated very fast,
the towel was totally wet.
i even cant stand after i finished running.

tired,dont want to move even one step.
but still need to bring myself home.
i attracted ppl's attention again.
i thought maybe because my face let me seems like very sick.

not only for losing weight.
but i was tired to think everything.
i want to forget everything,
my brain is out of my control.
everything came to me together...
very messy.

i was afraid that, ly maybe would not back to singapore .
i admitted that i tried to stop her leaving.
but, it all depend on herself.
her results. her mum.
how can i live without her?
i really dont know.

we are not only friends,but like family members.
then.when i back,how?

i am not suppose to think this ,
but the unknown future is very near.

i know, because i love my friends,
i have to support them to realise their dreams.
i have to glad to hear the news ,like they will go to other countries.
i have to wish them good luck.

Kyoto.new york.holland.macau.hongkang.canada....

ppl come, ppl leave.
thats life .
i met so many ppl in the past.
who are still here?

seems like i am a happy girl.
but i am not.
i need to encourage others to be happy.
as i really dont want to see they are unhappy
i wonder maybe my heart is made by glass..
too easy to break.
just seems like a strong heart.

time will prove everything.
i believe that no matter how many years passed.
we will be still like past.

it is really terrible to think things too much more.
i cant accept.
thinking will not change anything.
thinking will give me high expection, but i know it will not happen.

the precious friendship i got , i left them in the deep of heart.
it is proud that i got them as my best friends.
really.

the beautiful relationship i want...
i really dont know how to keep and manage relationship.
and i know it will be very hard,
my experience tells me i always harder than others.
the maximum time i can wait is 10 years.
thats my choice, not too selfish of you.
even i already known that, maybe i couldnt get anything at the end.
but love someone,i dont need he gives me anything .
no matter what will happen.
all i want,is.he will get happiness,successed...

running let my back more pain than yesterday.
maybe i will not do yoga so seriously next time.
thinking let me messy.
and.nothing came out from thinking.
everything is same.